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16 Things It Took Me 50 Years to Learn – Dave Barry

April 15, 2010 by Eric Rosenberg

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In honor of tax day, I thought I would share a little wisdom I read on the wall of Jimmy John’s yesterday. Here’s 16 Things It Took Me 50 Years to Learn by Dave Barry. Enjoy!

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. (This one is very important.)

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes; and it’s up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

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Filed Under: Live Better

About Eric Rosenberg

Eric is the founder and editor of Personal Profitability. He left his corporate finance job in 2016 to take his online side hustle full-time and now earns a six-figure online income.

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Comments

  1. Kellen_ABD says

    January 6, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    We don't have many meetings… but I see our clients doing it, and it seems such a waste of time. I guess the idea is that everyone will be on the same page and know the same key facts. But if no one cares, I doubt they serve any purpose…
    My recent post A real fixer-upper

    • Eric - Narrow Bridge says

      January 7, 2011 at 10:11 am

      That meetings quote is spot on. Unless they are super efficient, which they never are, they are generally a waste of time. But in the business world, we are stuck with them like it or not.
      My recent post January 1st- 2011 Net Worth Update- Back to Where I Started

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