While some of my friends have more and make more money than me, I have found that I am often stuck in a spot where I have more money, or at least more to spend. I try to be frugal where it matters, but I look at money as a tool to live a better life, not a restraint.
Have Lots of Friends
If I only hung out with the same few people every week, we would certainly come across things that I wanted to spend money on that they didn’t (or vice-versa). For example, I wanted to go to an awesome concert this summer that no one in my core group of friends wanted to do. I didn’t give up on the concert, I found someone else to go with.
I think having a wide circle of friends is important for more reasons than money, but this one has come up a few times. I never make my friends feel bad about not being able to afford something. Instead, I let it pass and move on to someone else.
When something more budget friendly comes up, go back to the friend that passed and invite them. I have a friend that would never spend $80 on a concert, but was happy to go camping with me. I have lots of examples like that.
Do What They Want Sometimes
Some days, I am invited to something that does not sound like my cup of tea, but I go anyway because my friend wants to go.
I like outdoor activities and Denver has no shortage. Nonetheless, going to Jazz in the Park or the movie at Infinity Park feel like a pain in the ass. I can easily watch a movie or listen to music at home. If I want to get out, I prefer getting on my bike.
However, not all of my friends feel that way. I understand that a lot of people like the free activities Denver has to offer in the summer. I try to go when my friends invite me so they know I care about spending time with them, not just doing what I want.
Do Stuff Alone Sometimes
A few weeks back, The Dandy Warhols were in town. I love that band. They are awesome. Tickets were about $30, and no one wanted to go with me.
After bitching about not having anyone to go with, I went anyway. I turned out I did have a friend chilling out on the top balcony, but I made my way to the front on the floor and had an awesome time by myself.
Just last week, one of my favorite DJs was in town. I ended up going with a few friends, but they were not into the same experience as me. I wanted to see Avicii up close and feel the bass rip through the crowd. They wanted to sit in the back row of the amphitheater and leave early. I spent most of the show on my own and was bummed when they (the driver) said it was time to head home.
Sometimes, you just have to do your own thing.
What Do You Do?
How do you avoid asshole syndrome when you want to do something expensive that your friends can’t afford or don’t want to do with you? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
Image Keoni Cabral/flickr
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As an old(er) person, my wife and I gravitated to friends who are more like us. When we go out, we know exactly what we are getting into.
I have a pretty diverse group of friends at this point. They range from teachers and social media folks to oil and gas accountants. It is tough to match everyone, but some of them are closer to me than others.
Hmmm, I’ll go do it on my own or find a family member to drag along and if I really really don’t want to go alone I may offer to help pay or pay for someone to come. I definitely need to expand my group of friends to do more things I’m interested in, well.. unless i want to to them on my own all the time
That make sense. Having family around or helping pay the bill can get you to the activities you want.