Taylor Swift HOPA

6 Reasons Financial Advisors Are Scarier Than Dating Taylor Swift

The 23 year old singer broke into the spotlight with poppy, catchy songs a few years ago. As she rose to fame for her music, she also gained a reputation for being a serial dater. The celebrity list includes singer/actor Joe Jona, actor Taylor Lautner, musician John Mayer, actor Jake Gyllenhaal, Kennedy heir Conor Kennedy, and singer Harry Styles. Then she writes songs about them…

They Give You a False Sense of Awesomeness

The initial thrill of working with a financial advisor may be security, relief, or thinking that you don’t have anything else to worry about. A professional has your back now. Nothing to worry about.


Many financial advisors are paid for sending money to specific funds. Sometimes they get kickbacks for supporting one fund family over another, even if it isn’t what’s best for their clients.

If you do hire a financial advisor, make sure they are putting your interests firsts and don’t have other incentives that could hurt your financial performance.

They May Use You as an Example

Taylor Swift is famous for writing songs about her ex-boyfriends. Even if she tells you that you are the one, the singer may think differently after you part ways. And then she’ll write a hit song about you.

Do you want to be a learning experience for a financial advisor? You may be getting great, tested advice. But you may be the experiment with a new investment. Do you want to be the experiment?

You May Just Get Stuck in the Friend Zone

Swift admits that she would rather keep a stable friendship that risk it by chasing “a relationship when he’s not ready.” Maybe you are a small investor and won’t make it into your advisor’s favorites list?

Most financial advisors are paid as a percent of assets under management, though some are fee only. If your advisor charges you a percent fee, and you are not a millionaire, you might not get much love.

They Think They are Big Shots All the Time

Swift knows she’s famous. Every time she is in the news, she admits she reads the blogs from her laptop on the road. In the same vein, financial advisors often put on a big show for their clients.

The idea is that financial advisors have to appear rich to bring on new clients. You don’t want a broke person dealing with your money, right?

So what do they do? Buy big homes, expensive cars, and end up with debt and a bad financial situation themselves. Is that they kind of person you really want dealing with your hard earned cash?

They Don’t Always Think Things Through

Taylor Swift told Parade Magazine that I don’t think it through, really, which is a good thing and a bad thing. You don’t look before you leap.”

Financial advisors should think about the long-term results of your investments, but may suggest short sighted investments to keep you happy and excited right now.

If you lose a bunch of money, of course you will be upset. However, younger people should invest in higher risk investments and may lose in the short run to capture the best long term gains.

You Feel Shitty After a Breakup

You’re not happy. They retire. You decide to part ways. Just like you may feel bad after losing a HOPA like Taylor Swift, you may feel lost after breaking up with your financial advisor.

After losing your advisor, you may feel helpless and lost. But you shouldn’t. You are smart. You were good enough to earn your money, and you are smart enough to invest it.

Of Course there are Exceptions

I admit it, this post was supposed to be based more on funny than fact, but if you work with a financial advisor these are serious issues you should consider.

I strongly believe that anyone can handle their own investments and save the fee, but if you do choose to hire an advisor to help with your money, investments, and financial planning, make sure they are the right fit, have your best interests at heart, deserve your trust, and will work hard to help you succeed.

Have you ever worked with a financial advisor? Please share your experience in the comments.

Image by jazills / flickr

8 thoughts on “6 Reasons Financial Advisors Are Scarier Than Dating Taylor Swift”

    1. They’re not all bad, but there are many bad eggs out there so you have to be careful who you trust with your money.

  1. Eric I love the title and the Taylor Swift analogy but that’s about all that I can find good about this post. To say that this pathetic effort is beneath someone of your knowledge and writing skills is about the kindest thing that I can say.

    Controversial and edgy are good things. Falsehoods and outright inaccuracies as well as unsupported innuendos are not. First the percentage of assets mode IS a form of fee-only advice. So are flat-fee and hourly.

    Second do you know of examples of advisors who have experimented on their clients?

    Third most of the advisors I know are middle to upper middle class folks who are just trying to do the right things for their clients and support their families. I live in a nice split-level in a nice suburb of Chicago, hardly the stuff of the old show Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

    Fourth not everyone can or should manage their own portfolios in fact the calls I receive are generally from successful folks who are either uncomfortable doing it themselves or want to delegate this so they don’t have to spend their time doing it.

    Again fire away at the bad actors who give the financial advisor profession a black eye but try being at least a bit on the mark next time. As I invited you to do on the Facebook thread feel free to contact me if you’d like to learn something about this profession. I’m not holding my breath on that, I suspect you’d prefer to write inaccurate and misleading pieces like this so you can attract a few more readers and a few more ad and affiliate revenue dollars.

  2. I love this article! In this day and age with so much information available at folks fingertips through the internet I think financial advisors are largely obsolete. Kinda like the travel agent.

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